The House of the Rising Sun

You know, they say that even in an economic downturn the adult service industry (and I'm not talking home care to change your depends) still makes money.

Best quote in the article?

"[Sex] toys are like shoes: there are lots for men, tons for women, and a handful for both." ~Stefan Dallakian, owner, Paris Intimates

So, perhaps it makes sense that while the rest of the world scales back, design houses like Gianmarco Lorenzi sells what can only be described as $3,090.52 hooker shoes.

Luckily you can find them on sale for 50% off at farfetch.com.  At $1546.00 these babies are a STEAL!  However be sure to carry a spare pair of flats in your bag in case you have to chase down a dead beat John.

But if $1546.00 is still too expensive, Gianmarco Lorenzi does offer a slightly less expensive pair.

Regularly retailing for $2356.51 they are also 50% off at Farfetch for $1179.00.  It's like they're practically giving them away!

If you want to be a bit more obvious you can always go the Taylor Momsen route and get your shoes of ill-repute from Pleasers, a company dedicated to stripper shoes.

I do worry that the clear lucite platform showing my money would make me a target on the subway though.  They may only retail between $40.00 and $70.00 but who knows how much the would-be theives would get away with if you haven't stopped by your hollowed out mattress in awhile.

For that reason I'm partial to these lucite platforms from Fendi.  Retailing for $1400.00 you can find them on sale for $630.00 at Neiman Marcus.

And we all know that Christian Louboutin has never met a fetish shoe he didn't love and couldn't make fabulous.  These Lady Fox-Heel Platforms at $1395.00 are perfect if you get promoted from working the corner to a room in the brothel.

And my personal favorite pair, in fact, a pair that I would wear even though I'm not a hooker (I checked, they don't offer a decent vision plan) are these Casadei Fishnet Court Shoes.

The fishnet says naughty but the shoe shape says lady.  Regularly priced at $414.00 these too are on sale at farfetch for $189.00.

To afford all of these shoes I might have to start turning tricks.  Vision plan be damned; all I need is ONE Richard Gere.