What to Wear: Out of This World Edition

Earlier this month we discussed our best options for footwear after the Apocalypse.  However, if, like me, you are banking on being included on the spaceship with Stephen Hawking, Brian Greene, and my favorite, Michio Kaku (he’s so enthusiastically happy about science it’d be impossible to be in a bad mood trapped on a spaceship with him), then you’ll need to start packing.

Now, I know you’re thinking, Katie, you make wedding invitations, Hawking is one of the foremost authorities on theoretical physics, Greene is known for his enormous contributions to string theory, and, speaking of string theory, Kaku co-founded string-field theory, and you Katie, bless your little heart, you design wedding invitations.

Well, yes, you have a point.  But really, what are all these scientists going to do, just sit around and discuss their Mensa membership.  They’ll need someone to provide the comic relief.  Like Pinky had the Brain, like Sherrif Andy had Deputy Fife, like Ren had Stimpy, like Zach Morris had Samuel "Screech" Powers.

I'm totally Screech!

Now, just because I’ll be in outer space is NO excuse to not rock awesome, out-of-this-world footwear.

I know that the obvious choice is the flat pack Moon Shoe that United Nude designed for Spanish performance artist Alicia Frami’s “Moon Life” project.

Some assembly required.  I hope they include an Allen Wrench.

But, considering this shoe is really an art installation there will be the issue of coming by it honestly.

So I’ve decided to try for something available for purchase and probably a bit more comfortable.

My first choice is this white wedge boot from Finsk. 

These look suitably space aged and as though they’d keep my tootsies warm during the ascent.

Another absolutely fantastic option is the Chelsea boot from Alejandro Ingelmo. 

They would look so awesome with a silver Lycra space jumpsuit tucked into them.  I’d accessorize with a kickass belt.

For cold space walks when they send me out into space to fix the ship’s hull with bobby pins and double sided fashion tape (always prepared), Opening Ceremony’s Quilted Boot is perfect.

I wouldn’t have to worry about the coldness of space as each foot would be snugly wrapped in its own individual quilt.

I don’t know if life exists on another planet, but I always feel as though I should be prepared for a party.  That’s where Walter Steiger comes into play.

These curved heel pumps are suitably sexy and still a bit futuristic and space age.

Finally, every woman in space or on terra firma needs a pair of comfortable flats.  These Melissa x Zaha Hadid flats are perfect for the job.

I can’t help but think that if Flash Gordon were a woman he’d totally wear these shoes.

So, will you be joining me on the spaceship and if so, what will you be packing in your shoe bag?

Airport Friendly Slip On Shoes

Everyone always talks about how chic air travel used to be and how people treated it as an occasion to dress their best.

Yeah well, air travel used to cost an arm and a leg, reserved only for the privileged elite.  Why not dress up to celebrate the fact that you can get from point a to point b in a much faster fashion then the rest of us plebians confined to trains, boats, and our own two feet.

Air travel is still expensive, but not quite as out of reach.  The more people that fly the more indignities we must face at the airport.  From the confusing parking garages, to the full body scans and pat downs, air travel is not easy and NOT something most of us want to celebrate, it’s like having a root canal filled, it’s easier than the alternative (infection, pain, swelling), but still a crappy way to spend an afternoon.

So, how can we cheer ourselves up while waiting in line for our freedom grope?  Easy, by looking at our lovely, very sensible, easily slipped off and on for security, shoes

Top Left to Right:  Car Shoe Agave Washed Napa Driving Loafers and Rockport Women’s Jackie Steel Metallic Leather Penny Loafer
Center: Serafini Moccassins (my favorites)
Bottom Left to Right:  J. Crew Biella Patent Leather Loafers (very similar to a much more expensive pair from Church's) and Elizabeth and James Snake Embossed Loafer

It’s a Jungle Out There

Ever notice how fall is the perfect time to represent the animal kingdom on our feet?

Earlier this year we discussed how perfect Christian Louboutin’s Alex Paw Pump for any witch sorted into the House of Gryffindor.

But this certainly isn’t the only designer on the feline print trend.  Leopard and cheetah prints are almost always a popular choice.  Here we have a leopard print platform from Brian Atwood.

And these cheetah print wedge booties from Pour La Victoire.

But big cats aren’t the only animals in the kingdom.  I mean the cats have to eat something right?  Such as this zebra from Micheal by Michael Kors.

Or maybe the graceful gazelle from Marc by Marc Jacobs.

If the predator is feeling particularly fast and strong there are these gorgeous Fendi Giraffe Print Calf Hair Branded Slingbacks.

And while I know all these animals are African, I couldn’t resist adding in a bit of the Asian Tiger in the form of these Charlotte Olympia Two-Face Lace-Up Bootie.

So what animal will be gracing your feet this fall?

My Weekend Kicks

Yesterday, we talked about weekend shoes and sadly, because of weather and work I decided to wear heels.  But today I finally got around to some comfy weekend kicks!

I wore a pair of Tod's driving shoes.

The best light I could find was in my bathroom.  Don't judge me!

So, as I was so kind as to stereotype all the other weekend shoes, I suppose I must do the same for my own.  If I am to believe the advertisements (and I always do), the natural place to find Tod's would be pressing on the gas pedal of a Ferrari while zipping down the A1 Superstrada toward Rome, then getting out of the car in one of the lots to go shopping on Via Frattina before meeting friends at a lovely cafe.

What was my Italian moment you ask?  Well, I drove my good old black sedan to Avis to drop off a car rental.  This excitement was followed by braving the tax free holiday at the mall for lunch and a swim suit, then Super Target for groceries, and, finally, taking the dog to the vet (yay Sunday hours).  I did have spaghetti for dinner though while watching Shark Week.  That's sort of an Italian moment!

I'm so glamorous.

Everybody’s Working for the Weekend

Get the smelling salts ready, because...

As much as I love my high heels there are certain circumstances when they just aren’t practical.

I know, I’ll give you a moment to come to... good?  Good, let’s continue.

Often on weekends I’m doing weekend warrior crap around the house.  This may involve trips to home improvement stores and there is nothing more embarrassing than wearing heels to Lowes.  Except perhaps wearing a party dress and heels to REI (I had a coupon that was EXPIRING okay, I wasn’t gonna go home and change into cargo capris and Tevas* just to fit in with you judgy kayak people).

So, in honor of Monday Monkey who lives for the weekend, this Saturday I dedicate this post to weekend kicks.

First up we have your standard Urban Hipster kicks.  That’s right, Converse sneakers.

You’ll see this in any major city.  Take a look around Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Mumford & Sons concerts.  They’re usually worn with skinny jeans and an ironic t-shirt.

Next up, a picnic brunch on a schooner.  Oh yeah,  Sperry Top-Siders deck shoes.

You may remember Top-Siders from Red, White, and Shoe and recall that Katie loves her some Top-Siders.  Usually worn with madras prints and polo shirts, you’ll see this anywhere there’s water nearby, boat or not.

If your weekend plans involve brunch with the girls from the Auburn Tri Deltas Alumni Association, then the shoe for the day is Jack Rogers (another shoe you may remember from Red, White, and Shoe).

Often seen at “The Club” paired with white cotton, seersucker, or Lilly Pulitizer.

Are you planning on getting up early on Saturday to get the best deals on fresh produce at the Farmer’s Market?  This followed by some sustainable landscaping and working on your compost bin in the back yard?  After that a Phish concert perhaps?

Yep, Birkenstocks.  In the wild you’ll find the Birkenstocks paired with hemp clothing and reusable shopping bags made by fair trade companies that work with local indigenous peoples and offer a sustainable living wage.

Some folks don’t get the weekend off.  Some folks still have cattle to tend to and horses to train.  For them we have Frye (my goodness it's a Red, White, and Shoes hat trick!).

To find these boots in the wild you will need to head west and look for any area where there’s a lot of large flat land, bit of dirt and dust, swinging doors and a whole lotta Levis.

How about some beach plans?  Maybe roll out of bed at 11:00 get a quick breakfast at Jamba Juice and head out to catch a wave.  Like, totally!

Haviannas are like usually paired with... well, very little.

If, however, you decide that you will be getting up to go for an early morning hike, followed by a bit of granola on a craggy rock overlooking a beautiful view, and maybe an evening using your coupon at REI and making fun of the girl buying the wicking running shorts while wearing high heels, your best bet is, of course, the aforementioned Tevas.

Worn with cargo shorts and button down UV Protection camp shirts and perfumed with bug spray, this shoe still makes NO SENSE.  Who hikes in sandals?!

If your weekend plans involve Vibram FiveFingers you’re probably my oldest friend in the world and we’ll just have to agree to disagree.  The less said, the better (but seriously dude, your shoes are ridiculous).

Today, here at Likes Shoes central, it's dark, hot, and rainy plus I have to be at work.  So, I will be wearing heels on the weekend, my "rain pumps" from Marni.  But who knows what sort of casual weekend shoes tomorrow will bring!  What about you?  How do you pamper your feet for the weekend?

*I actually do not own a pair of Tevas, because as I’ve mentioned they MAKE NO SENSE.

The House of the Rising Sun

You know, they say that even in an economic downturn the adult service industry (and I'm not talking home care to change your depends) still makes money.

Best quote in the article?

"[Sex] toys are like shoes: there are lots for men, tons for women, and a handful for both." ~Stefan Dallakian, owner, Paris Intimates

So, perhaps it makes sense that while the rest of the world scales back, design houses like Gianmarco Lorenzi sells what can only be described as $3,090.52 hooker shoes.

Luckily you can find them on sale for 50% off at farfetch.com.  At $1546.00 these babies are a STEAL!  However be sure to carry a spare pair of flats in your bag in case you have to chase down a dead beat John.

But if $1546.00 is still too expensive, Gianmarco Lorenzi does offer a slightly less expensive pair.

Regularly retailing for $2356.51 they are also 50% off at Farfetch for $1179.00.  It's like they're practically giving them away!

If you want to be a bit more obvious you can always go the Taylor Momsen route and get your shoes of ill-repute from Pleasers, a company dedicated to stripper shoes.

I do worry that the clear lucite platform showing my money would make me a target on the subway though.  They may only retail between $40.00 and $70.00 but who knows how much the would-be theives would get away with if you haven't stopped by your hollowed out mattress in awhile.

For that reason I'm partial to these lucite platforms from Fendi.  Retailing for $1400.00 you can find them on sale for $630.00 at Neiman Marcus.

And we all know that Christian Louboutin has never met a fetish shoe he didn't love and couldn't make fabulous.  These Lady Fox-Heel Platforms at $1395.00 are perfect if you get promoted from working the corner to a room in the brothel.

And my personal favorite pair, in fact, a pair that I would wear even though I'm not a hooker (I checked, they don't offer a decent vision plan) are these Casadei Fishnet Court Shoes.

The fishnet says naughty but the shoe shape says lady.  Regularly priced at $414.00 these too are on sale at farfetch for $189.00.

To afford all of these shoes I might have to start turning tricks.  Vision plan be damned; all I need is ONE Richard Gere.

Round One: Louboutin

Judge Victor Marrero ruled yesterday that YSL may not use a chart submitted during the preliminary injunction hearing as evidence.

According to Women's Wear Daily, the chart showed a number of YSL shoes with red soles dating back to 2004.

A lawyer for Christian Louboutin stated that the attempt to mark the chart as evidence was

"[A] bald attempt by YSL and counsel to circumvent the law and sneak into evidence the chart they acknowledged was a 'demonstrative' at the July 22 hearing."

For background information see this July 26 post.

Katie Likes Capes

So Rachel Zoe's collection at Bergdorf Goodman has hit.

Of course I fell in love with the $695.00 Wrap Collar Cape.  A bit out of reach in the current economy.

But that doesn't mean I can't look at it and dream!

In Rachel Zoe speak:  I die.

I mean really though, every Super Hero needs a cape.  So it's completely justifiable as a business expense, right?  Just save the receipt and be sure to mark "super hero" on my tax return.

I wonder if I can also expense tights and underoos?  Are there any tax consultants out there that can clarify?

What's my super hero power?  Pffffttttttt, I'm not telling you that, that's Super Hero 101 "Need To Know."  You learn all sorts of fun shit in that class such as "How to Keep Your Significant Other None-the-Wiser" and "Sometimes It's Best to Date Clueless Idiots."  Also I learned "You Still Have to Tell HR Block" and "Don't Keep Shit From the Feds (unless you want to end up in Super Hero lock up)."

Super Hero 201 is of course "Need a Cape."

I Think You're Awesome Too!

Well, it's the annual John Fluevog Thinks Your Awesome Sale.  This coincides with the annual, "Katie is actually jealous of men's shoes" melancholy.

Oh sure, Fluevog has some great shoes available for women.  The Mollie Johnson in brown and pink are marked down.

As are the Pearl Hart in gray and blue.

I just don't see myself wearing either pair.  I do however love these men's Dasher Darts in blue denim.

Even if I do think the mismatched laces are trying a bit too hard to be cool.

My favorite though are the men's Radios ABC in sky wash.

They strike me as a slightly more whimsical version of Tod's Gommino Loafers.  You know, a Canadian moment instead of an Italian one.

Oh well, a penny saved is a penny earned.  Besides, I'm still holding out hope for the women's line for Florsheim by Duckie Brown. 

See anything you like on sale?

What to Wear: Post Apocalypse Edition

In Hollywood nothing smells like blockbuster more than a dystopian, post-apocalyptic world inhabited by some sort of cannibal.  I mean really, feel good movie of the year.

In reality I’m not sure how the world will end.  Maybe a comet, maybe zombies, maybe man’s struggle against his own baser instincts, or maybe Rise of the Planet of the Apes is horrible foreshadowing of what is actually to come.  A plea to James Franco: I know you like school and all but for the love of all that is holy do not get another graduate degree in Primatology.  My heart can’t take it.

Stop getting graduate degrees!  You make me feel lazy.

Oh it’s all in good fun Franco.  If I were sitting on the Board of a University I’d insist on inviting you to serve as a visiting professor in Stoner Comedies, the course would fall under Department Head Tommy Chong’s Stoner Studies concentration.  Why is Tommy Chong the Department Head instead of Cheech?  Simple, I’ve not yet forgiven Cheech for this: 

Back to the end times though, there will be NO new shoes created after the apocalypse.  This is a sad but true fact and the sooner we all come to terms with it the sooner we can fully prepare.  How do we prepare?  By hoarding shoes of course.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but my current job will be obsolete during the end times.  I just don’t see a need for stationery after the apocalypse.  Even if Kevin Costner decides to restore the Postal Service are we really gonna worry about our stationery suites having our monogram engraved on them?  Probably not.

Because of this I’ve been thinking I need to appear as though I’m handy so that I can join a rag tag group of survivors even if my only non-stationery related skills pertain to the unclogging of sinks and getting my larger dog to sit on his haunches for a treat (harder than it sounds, the large dog is pretty dim-witted).

Seriously, my dogs wouldn’t even make it to being shot with a crossbow.  They’d probably die from merely having to walk more than one mile.  Lazy dogs.

To appear to be handier than I am I would buy these pre-roughed up boots by VPL: 

I’d claim to have found them, I lost the laces in a battle with cannibals and I chopped off the toes myself because the shoes were slightly too small for me.  How did I get the seaming so straight?  Um, I also stole a sewing machine that’s how.  Now stop asking me questions, aren't there more pressing issues like opportunistic cannibals with heavy artillery?!

Though, if the apocalypse is the result of a nuclear war then my toes would get pretty cold in the nuclear winter.  Maybe these 3 strap boots from Fiorentini Baker would be a better idea.

Worn over some army green fatigues I’d look fabulous AND capable.  Surely any group of survivors would be happy to take me on.

Should all else fail, well, let’s face it; they don’t call it the oldest profession in the world for nothing.

These Talon Heels from Rodarte x Nicholas Kirkwood would be perfect.

What will you be wearing during the end times?