A long time ago, in a galaxy far away

If you have any technical issues that require a geek’s touch, I suggest you contact your IT department today. Why? Because tomorrow, for the first time ever, Star Wars The Complete Saga will be available for purchase on bluray.

What’s this mean for your computer problems? Well, no geek in their right mind is going to be able to troubleshoot whilst busily taking to the internet to dissect every misstep George Lucas makes retelling the Star Wars story in this new high definition medium. I mean already on Amazon it has over 1,000 user reviews and an average of 2 stars BEFORE it’s been released!

Yes, we get it, Han shot first!

Star Wars is the story of a galaxy in the midst of a civil war. The story begins with members of the rebel alliance (the good guys) stealing the plans to the Death Star, a big-ass weapon capable of taking out an entire planet.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you know the story, but do you know the story as told with shoes? I didn’t think so. Prepare yourself.

So, after a screen of scrolling words flashes at you giving you background you’ll probably forget in about five minutes anyway, a rebel leader, Princess Leia is frantically trying to send a message.

Leia is pretty kick ass, if she were to wear heels, I could totally see her in these pumps from Ruthie Davis. Look, the heel even looks like it has some nuts and bolts that got stuck to it when she was wading around in garbage compactor 3263827 on the Death Star!

Anywhoodle, Leia is trying to upload a video to YouTube give a distress signal to R2D2, a R2-series astromech droid, and not, as previously thought, a trash can.

If I had R2D2 here to give his opinion on these Versace Color Block Suede and Leather Pumps I’m sure he’d enthusiastically agree that they are beep bop doop bop.

The message she gives to R2D2 is intended for Obi Wan Kenobi.

Like all peace-loving hippies Jedi, I’m sure Obi Wan would love a pair of Birkenstocks.

Unfortunately for Leia, the message goes on a bit of detour as R2D2 is on a ship attacked by an Imperial Star Destroyer led by Darth Vader.

See how the patent leather vader shoes have red light saber heels? Awesome. I could not wear these peep toe pumps from Gianmarco Lorenzi without humming the Imperial March.

On the doomed ship with R2 is C-3PO, a protocol droid fluent in over six million forms of communication and preoccupied with etiquette (he’d fit in at my job in the wedding industry, I’ll tell ya that much).

Being a robot I’m sure C-3PO has little need for shoes, however, I’m sure he wouldn’t be so rude as to tell me so when I try to put him in a pair of Miu Miu platform peep toe pumps.

R2D2 and C-3PO defy all odds and flee the attackers in an escape pod and land in Tunisia on the desert planet, Tatooine. It is here that our droid friends meet Luke Skywalker after being sold by Jawa traders to his Uncle Owen.

Luke’s not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I wouldn’t expect him to wear anything much more interesting than a pair of desert boots much like these Bailey Chukkas from Frye.

While cleaning the droids Luke manages to access part of the holographic message meant for Obi Wan, but the only Kenobi he knows is “old Ben Kenobi.” R2D2 leaves to find Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi and Luke and C-3PO take off to find him.

Long story short they all find Obi Wan Kenobi, turns out the geezer is a Jedi Knight in exile and they all skip off merrily to go save the princess, deliver the death star plan to the rebels and generally save the world (despite the fact that they are a whiny teenager, an old fart, and two robots).

They may have all the good hero-y intentions in the world but what they don’t have is a spaceship. Luke’s aunt and uncle die at some point and no one really cares.

So, deeply saddened for all of five seconds over their deaths the group wanders off to Mos Eisley Cantina to find hookers a pilot who they can pay to take them to Alderaan to take the Death Star plans to Leia’s father, District Attorney Miguel Prado Bail Organa.

At the Cantina they meet Han Solo, a pilot with his own ship, the Millennium Falcon which can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. This is incredibly impressive when you take into account that a parsec is a unit of distance and not time. This means that the Millennium Falcon is SO AWESOME regular physics need not apply.

I forgot for a minute that this is a shoe blog, forgive me. Han Solo would so be wearing a ruggedly classic Frye Harness Boot.

Han Solo is with his hairy sidekick, Chewbacca, a wookie most known for his contributions to legal strategy.

In retrospect, I’m not sure these Marni Shearling Trimmed Knee Boots are appropriate for Chewy, they’re a bit more wampa-looking no?

Moving on. Han Solo is a smuggler and he is wanted by Jabba the Hutt.

Jabba the Hutt is big, ugly and shapeless. Look, Uggs.  Jabba has a bounty out on Han Solo for an unpaid debt.

The Bounty Hunter, Boba Fett is hot on Han’s tail.

Sigh, you can thank all the fanboys for Fett’s inclusion in the movies. Apparently his action figure sold really well.  Thanks fanboys! Hopefully these wedge pumps from Celine make up for his inclusion in this post.

Desperate for money to pay his debt to Jabba the Hutt, Han agrees to take the whiny teen, the geezer, and the two robots to Alderaan (spoiler alert, Alderaan went KABOOM), and so begins the epic adventure of Star Wars.

I need a drink.  See you at the Cantina!

Everybody’s Working for the Weekend

Get the smelling salts ready, because...

As much as I love my high heels there are certain circumstances when they just aren’t practical.

I know, I’ll give you a moment to come to... good?  Good, let’s continue.

Often on weekends I’m doing weekend warrior crap around the house.  This may involve trips to home improvement stores and there is nothing more embarrassing than wearing heels to Lowes.  Except perhaps wearing a party dress and heels to REI (I had a coupon that was EXPIRING okay, I wasn’t gonna go home and change into cargo capris and Tevas* just to fit in with you judgy kayak people).

So, in honor of Monday Monkey who lives for the weekend, this Saturday I dedicate this post to weekend kicks.

First up we have your standard Urban Hipster kicks.  That’s right, Converse sneakers.

You’ll see this in any major city.  Take a look around Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Mumford & Sons concerts.  They’re usually worn with skinny jeans and an ironic t-shirt.

Next up, a picnic brunch on a schooner.  Oh yeah,  Sperry Top-Siders deck shoes.

You may remember Top-Siders from Red, White, and Shoe and recall that Katie loves her some Top-Siders.  Usually worn with madras prints and polo shirts, you’ll see this anywhere there’s water nearby, boat or not.

If your weekend plans involve brunch with the girls from the Auburn Tri Deltas Alumni Association, then the shoe for the day is Jack Rogers (another shoe you may remember from Red, White, and Shoe).

Often seen at “The Club” paired with white cotton, seersucker, or Lilly Pulitizer.

Are you planning on getting up early on Saturday to get the best deals on fresh produce at the Farmer’s Market?  This followed by some sustainable landscaping and working on your compost bin in the back yard?  After that a Phish concert perhaps?

Yep, Birkenstocks.  In the wild you’ll find the Birkenstocks paired with hemp clothing and reusable shopping bags made by fair trade companies that work with local indigenous peoples and offer a sustainable living wage.

Some folks don’t get the weekend off.  Some folks still have cattle to tend to and horses to train.  For them we have Frye (my goodness it's a Red, White, and Shoes hat trick!).

To find these boots in the wild you will need to head west and look for any area where there’s a lot of large flat land, bit of dirt and dust, swinging doors and a whole lotta Levis.

How about some beach plans?  Maybe roll out of bed at 11:00 get a quick breakfast at Jamba Juice and head out to catch a wave.  Like, totally!

Haviannas are like usually paired with... well, very little.

If, however, you decide that you will be getting up to go for an early morning hike, followed by a bit of granola on a craggy rock overlooking a beautiful view, and maybe an evening using your coupon at REI and making fun of the girl buying the wicking running shorts while wearing high heels, your best bet is, of course, the aforementioned Tevas.

Worn with cargo shorts and button down UV Protection camp shirts and perfumed with bug spray, this shoe still makes NO SENSE.  Who hikes in sandals?!

If your weekend plans involve Vibram FiveFingers you’re probably my oldest friend in the world and we’ll just have to agree to disagree.  The less said, the better (but seriously dude, your shoes are ridiculous).

Today, here at Likes Shoes central, it's dark, hot, and rainy plus I have to be at work.  So, I will be wearing heels on the weekend, my "rain pumps" from Marni.  But who knows what sort of casual weekend shoes tomorrow will bring!  What about you?  How do you pamper your feet for the weekend?

*I actually do not own a pair of Tevas, because as I’ve mentioned they MAKE NO SENSE.

Red, White, and Shoe: The Frye Company

It is day two of my American shoe tribute in honor of the Fourth of July weekend and today I celebrate the oldest continuously running shoe company in America, The Frye Company.  For 150 years Frye has bench crafted their boots, a process that takes more than 190 steps to complete a pair of boots.

I love Frye Boots.  Now, yes, it’s true, normally I am a heel girl, in fact I’d say a good six days a week I’m in heels but on that seventh day nothing feels better than pulling on a perfectly worn in pair of Frye 8R Engineer Boots.

Frye 8R Engineer Boots in Gaucho

They go perfect with a flouncy dress or jeans.  Whenever I put them on, I feel ready to get a tattoo and ride across the country on a chopper.  Okay, maybe not, but I feel like I fucking could if I wanted to and, dammit,  that is a great feeling.

John A. Frye ran the Frye company for 50 years from the very start in 1863 until his death in 1911 after which his family took over the business.  Frye boots have a long history, in the 1800s many of the homesteaders wore Fryes as they trekked west.

The Frye Harness Boot (then the Jet Boot) was inspired by a meeting John Frye’s grandson, also named John, had with a US Naval Admiral in 1938.  The Admiral had difficulty finding the Wellington style of boots he liked and as a favor John made him a pair.  The boots became popular and he filled requests for them through World War II.  General Patton even had a pair of the Jet Boots.

Frye Harness Boots

In the 1960s the Frye Campus Boot was re-introduced and became so popular and iconic that when the Smithsonian Institute was looking for items to represent America in the sixties a pair of Frye Campus Boots were among the chosen items.

Frye Campus Boots

These days Frye has expanded and offers so much more than boots.  Now you can buy Frye heels, sandals, and oxford flats.

Frye Kara Trapunto T-Strap Pump

Frye James Oxford

You will be just as likely to see young hollywood starlets wearing Fryes as you will be seeing rough and tumble cowboys, servicemen, and brawny guys who get dirt under their nails(tm).

Rachel Bilson in Frye 12R Engineers

Reese Witherspoon in Frye Melissa Button Boots

Anne Hathaway in Brown Frye Harness Boots

Who can choose one color?  Anne in Black Frye Harness Boots

Stay tuned, tomorrow we talk about a passion for the sea, Sperry Top-Siders so break out your madras prints!