Vampires v. Werewolves v. Shoes

So, I'm a little too old for the Twilight Franchise, a little too HBO-less for True Blood, and I can't get into Anne Rice or the Charlaine Harris novels for that matter.  And that's not to say I don't enjoy novels that are light and silly, it's not all Edith Wharton up in here.  I even like werewolves (see Remus Lupin, Michael J. Fox, Oz...) and I'm okay with some vamps (The Count, Spike, Jack Bauer...).  Anyway, although I may not be the target demographic for Vampires v. Werewolves that's not to say I can't appreciate shoes that look like they should be worn by monsters.

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I KNOW RIGHT?!  Anyway, you must go to the United Nude blog post to read about these, maybe if we all ask pretty please they'll make a limited edition... A limited edition I can't afford anyway.  But, I'll be happy to know that a few pair are out there on other people's feet, causing folks to point and smile.  Besides, my dogs might try to pick a fight with these shoes.

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Today's high in my neck of the woods is going to be about 65 degrees Fahrenheit.  It may be kinda overcast, but hell, I'll take it.

In gratitude, today I'm happy I'm NOT visiting the Weisman Art Museum on the campus of the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis where it's a bitter 16 degrees currently.

The current main building was completed by architect Frank Gehry in 1993.  Sadly, I cannot  afford Frank Gehry for Tiffany.

Only $9,250, if you're looking for a birthday present for me.

But, I do have these United Nude Lo Res Pumps that have a similar feel without completely breaking my bank.

Well, I think I will take advantage of this lovely weather and wash my dog.  A life of glamor, mine.

CSI: The Heeljacker

My first introduction to criminology was the great McDonaldland criminal the Hamburglar.  In McDonaldland crime is often burger related, and the perpetrator, more often than not, was the Hamburglar (true story, as a kid, and perhaps during an embarrassingly long part of my teenage years, I thought David Bowie was singing "robble, robble").

Robble, robble, you've torn your dress.

It never really made sense to me that a robber would have such an oddly specific target.  I mean sure, there are burglars that target art, banks, jewelry, etc., but I've never heard of a thief that stole only van Goghs, will only rob SunTrust, and puts back any jewelry that isn't Cartier.  I mean, only burgers?  What about french fries?  The Big Mac?  Chicken Nuggets?  Obviously this sort of esoteric thievery is rare at best.

But now we have the heeljacker.  It seems that in his earlier crimes, the heeljacker would replace the heel in hopes the owner wouldn't notice.

Here we have exhibit A, the United Nude Eamz Pump where the heel has been replaced with a part of Herman Miller's classic Eames chair.

Too embarrassed by his lackadaisical security, the designer of the shoe promptly renamed it the Eamz and claimed it was in homage to the chair.  A likely story.

The heeljacker became more brazen as you can see with exhibit B, the Kei Kagami Archive Moulded Balance shoe.

With this shoe, the heeljacker is taunting us, gluing the shoe onto the base for a model airplane.

Eventually, due to a lack of creativity or perhaps just boredom with his craft, the heeljacker stopped replacing the heel, just leaving the shoe to defy gravity on its own.  We see this in exhibit C, a D'Orsay Pump from Giuseppe Zanotti.

And again with exhibit D from McQueen.

My training in Criminal Profiling comes direct from Scotland Yard (if you replace the word "Scotland" with "Back" and remove the space).  What we're looking at here is most likely a man, 45-55 years old, shorter than average, maybe 5'6"-5'8", uncomfortable with his stature, possibly in the public eye furthering his need to make women stand more at his level.

Hmm, we may have to bring him in for questioning.

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

I am so excited for fall.  Even though the weather here won't really turn cool until October, I find myself daydreaming about skirt and boot season.  This year I'm really excited for all of the two-tone boot options.

I'm quite fond of these ankle boots from Vivienne Westwood.  If I lived in Victorian England or was a Steampunk princess I'd be all over them.

I don't think I'm hip enough to understand Steampunk though, I like my science fiction like I like my vacuums; heavy on the robots.

So, for my own, unhip self, these Burberry quilted leather booties are absolute perfection.

I don't think you need to be in a constant state of irony to wear them.

If you can believe it Ugg Australia has actually come out with a gorgeous boot for Fall/Winter 2011.  I had to double check the advertisement in the Fall Vogue to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

But they weren't, these are totally Uggs!

Marc by Marc Jacobs managed to get on the trend using the same color but two different fabrics.

I don't know why, but I rather love the corduroy.  It almost makes me want to cuddle the boots.

My absolute favorite two tone boots this season are the United Nude Spats.

I love everything about this boot.  EVERYTHING.

With so many great options for this trend it's hard to go wrong.

But not impossible.  Tip of the hat to Prada for their collaboration with Runway to Green.  You know, just because something is earth-friendly doesn't make it eye-friendly.  It's like passing a car accident, you don't want to look, you know it's wrong to look, and yet there you are, rubbernecking, staring, and feeling ashamed.

I know, I'm surprised too, I like a pair of Uggs and hate something from Prada.  Did we just experience a geomagnetic reversal or something?

Headliners

It's time for another Vegas themed post and today we take our shoe inspiration from the most well-known Vegas headliners.

We start with the granddaddy of them all, Elvis. 

Channeling our inner-Elvis for shoe inspiration proves relatively easy.  This is, after all, the man that sang about blue suede shoes.

Wear these Manolo Blahnik BB Suede shoes up and down the Vegas Strip and at the end of the night your hound dogs will be barking too.  So make sure you have shoe inserts.

Speaking of blue, our next inspiration comes from the Blue Man Group.

I don't think I could ever go see the Blue Man Group, I'd get kicked out for laughing because I cannot see them without thinking of Tobias from Arrested Development.  However, I can still appreciate the group with these Blue Leather Neve boots from Senso.

You can't talk Vegas inspiration without mentioning Mr. Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton.

Wayne's casually styled tux brings to mind the Jiver cut out spectator pumps from Anyi Lu.

Classic with a twist.

Vegas wouldn't be Vegas without a Carrot Top sighting.

After you stop screaming in horror and come back to your computer screen ease your eyes with these carrot orange booties from Giusseppe Zannoti for Christopher Kane.

Vegas is possibly the only place in the world where magic shows are still awesome.  First we have the legends Siegfried & Roy whose use of albino Tigers and sparkling metallic costumes help bring a sense of wonder to all the performances.

They are the perfect inspiration for these metallic silver booties from United Nude that have stripes reminiscent of their tigers.

Last, but certainly not least we have the wickedly funny Penn and Teller.

The masters of illusion and tricks make me think of these Bench Boots from Jeffrey Campbell.

This shoe always leaves me wondering about the wearer, "How do they do that?"

What to Wear: Out of This World Edition

Earlier this month we discussed our best options for footwear after the Apocalypse.  However, if, like me, you are banking on being included on the spaceship with Stephen Hawking, Brian Greene, and my favorite, Michio Kaku (he’s so enthusiastically happy about science it’d be impossible to be in a bad mood trapped on a spaceship with him), then you’ll need to start packing.

Now, I know you’re thinking, Katie, you make wedding invitations, Hawking is one of the foremost authorities on theoretical physics, Greene is known for his enormous contributions to string theory, and, speaking of string theory, Kaku co-founded string-field theory, and you Katie, bless your little heart, you design wedding invitations.

Well, yes, you have a point.  But really, what are all these scientists going to do, just sit around and discuss their Mensa membership.  They’ll need someone to provide the comic relief.  Like Pinky had the Brain, like Sherrif Andy had Deputy Fife, like Ren had Stimpy, like Zach Morris had Samuel "Screech" Powers.

I'm totally Screech!

Now, just because I’ll be in outer space is NO excuse to not rock awesome, out-of-this-world footwear.

I know that the obvious choice is the flat pack Moon Shoe that United Nude designed for Spanish performance artist Alicia Frami’s “Moon Life” project.

Some assembly required.  I hope they include an Allen Wrench.

But, considering this shoe is really an art installation there will be the issue of coming by it honestly.

So I’ve decided to try for something available for purchase and probably a bit more comfortable.

My first choice is this white wedge boot from Finsk. 

These look suitably space aged and as though they’d keep my tootsies warm during the ascent.

Another absolutely fantastic option is the Chelsea boot from Alejandro Ingelmo. 

They would look so awesome with a silver Lycra space jumpsuit tucked into them.  I’d accessorize with a kickass belt.

For cold space walks when they send me out into space to fix the ship’s hull with bobby pins and double sided fashion tape (always prepared), Opening Ceremony’s Quilted Boot is perfect.

I wouldn’t have to worry about the coldness of space as each foot would be snugly wrapped in its own individual quilt.

I don’t know if life exists on another planet, but I always feel as though I should be prepared for a party.  That’s where Walter Steiger comes into play.

These curved heel pumps are suitably sexy and still a bit futuristic and space age.

Finally, every woman in space or on terra firma needs a pair of comfortable flats.  These Melissa x Zaha Hadid flats are perfect for the job.

I can’t help but think that if Flash Gordon were a woman he’d totally wear these shoes.

So, will you be joining me on the spaceship and if so, what will you be packing in your shoe bag?