Tell us what you really want

Some women prefer to be subtle in their sexuality.  A shy smile.  Eye contact.  A kiss at the door at the end of the first date.



Mr. Louboutin does not design for those women.

Christian Louboutin Sex 120

Considering most men, I really think this is the one thing they don't need spelled out for them.

Rockin' Robin

I live in the South, so it should be no surprise that I hate snow, I dislike cold temperatures, and I even get super bored of wearing boots.  I just feel like boots are all so utilitarian; sometimes a lady wants a little whimsy in her life.

I'm so bored of socks.  I'm bored of sensible shoes that will keep me warm and dry.  And it hasn't even been THAT cold.  I keep looking longingly at the warm weather clothes in my closet.  I believe it will get into the 60s today; but it's still winter and I can't really get away with the pretty light silk pink dress with the blue hibiscus print.  Clothes like that require leaves on trees, they just seem out of place with the gray skies and sad dead lawns.

It's about this time of the year that I begin hallucinating robins, those pretty, red breasted, harbingers of spring time.

So far, no robins, but I can still find some lovely robins egg blue reminders of spring.

Such as the Agnes Patent Leather Pump from Jimmy Choo.

And the turquoise BB Pumps from Manolo Blahnik.

The Yves Saint Laurent Opyum Suede Pumps.

And for the truly desperate for spring, Christian Louboutin's J-Lissimo 100 Spiked Metallic Sandals are a great way to show off a pretty pedicure on warmer days.

Of course, my favorite is the cut out pump from Camilla Skovgaard.

In the meantime, I will dream of warmer places and the day that I can go bare legged once again.

More Super Hero Moonlighting

As we all know by now, in order to finance my love of shoes I moonlight as a super hero.

The days are getting longer and it's a bit nippy in the streets of Metropolis, so I require my bad assery to be more sensible, in shoes that can be worn with wool socks over my tights.  Super heroes can get chilly toes too you know!

In early autumn, when I can still get away with ankle boots so long as they have closed toes, I prefer these Vintage Effect Boots from Maison Martin Margiella Line 22.

They're unexpected and perfect on slow crime days when I'm doing other super hero-y duties, like cutting the ceremonial ribbon at the grand re-opening of the Metropolis Library (I maintain that I did not "unnecessarily level" the building during a fight with my arch nemesis, in fact it was quite a necessary leveling to keep the people safe from the fashion crimes of Matthew Lesko).

When I was still a super hero intern, doing things like sewing appliques onto capes and making strong super hero coffee, I didn't have the funds for a lot of super-fantastic foot wear.  Thankfully, places like DSW offer some great fast fashion options.  Now, they may not last me through my super hero sequel, but these boots from Michael Antonio Baker were my perfect entry-level boots for $64.95.

I prefer the patriotic blue color, but they also come in red and black.  And for $64.95 it's worth a few evenings of eating super Ramen noodles to buy all 3.

You know, sometimes, when I'm chasing down various villains, I can't help but think my heels slow me down a bit.  I mean sure, they look cool and they match my utility belt, but sometimes when my feet hurt, I'm cranky, and I'm dangerously close to saying "let the citizens defend themselves," I know it's time to break out a pair of comfortable wedges.

Lucky for me these Patent Leather Wedge Boots from Marc Jacobs make a very effective "good guy" statement.

The off white color is a little trickier to pair with my cape, but the comfort alone is worth a little extra time staring into my super closet (oh, you'd like a super closet too, get some inspiration here).

I remember once at a Super Hero Convention I attended at the Gotham City Airport Hilton, Wonder Woman was lamenting the lack of wider width boots for her more Amazonian stature.  You would think a woman as in to fashion as Wonder Woman (I mean she even wears super accessories), would know about Duoboots, but I suppose she's been spending too much time reading SkyMall in her invisible airplane to do much online shopping.

I recommended these great Belice Boots in red and she immediately measured her calves and ordered a pair.

Now, I know I mentioned last time that on occasion I venture into the dark side of villainy.  I know it's the wrong thing to do but the economy just isn't what it used to be and the good will of the citizens I protect simply does not pay my shoe bills.  So, during those times that I need to line my pockets with more than well wishes, I wear these Ronfifi lace corset boots from Christian Louboutin.

What can I say?  When I'm good, I'm very, very good.  But when I'm bad, I'm horrid.

Disco Stu Has Some Bad News

I wish Studio 54 was still around.  I need an opportunity to wear these Christian Louboutin platforms and I'm not coming up with anything.  Sad trombone!

Plus, secretly, I really love disco music and I have the perfect silky pleated skirt to twirl around in on the dance floor while wearing them.

Le Freak really is c'est chic.

The Cordwainer and the Stoats

You've heard the story about the Elves and the Shoemaker?  There is a lesser known fairy tale about a poor cordwainer and his pet ferrets.  It's lesser known because I just made it up, but that's neither here nor there.

Once upon a time a cordwainer had a lovely little shop, but the shoes he made were so elegant that it took him a very long time to finish each shoe commissioned by his clients.  He worked his knuckles to the bone and never made it home before midnight.  He missed his family but he knew that they depended on the money he made in order to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.

Now in the cordwainer's shop, he had two pet ferrets to keep him from being lonely while he meticulously crafted his much coveted shoes.  Every morning the cordwainer would come into the store, still exhausted from the previous day's work, scratch the ferrets ears and tell them what lovely darlings they were for keeping the old shoemaker company during his long, laborious and lonely days.  Every evening the ferrets watched as the cordwainer suffered for his art until the point of exhaustion before going home.   His dedication to his art so moved the ferrets that the sweet stoats decided one evening after the cordwainer had left they would help finish the leather buckle boots that the shoemaker was working on for one of his wealthy clients.

Unfortunately ferrets are not known for the dexterity of their paws and the little guys managed to sew themselves into the shoes.

Christian Louboutin Toundra Fur Boot

The client for whom the boots were commissioned came early in the morning and picked up the shoes from the cordwainer's young apprentice who was unaware that the ferrets had managed to sew themselves into the shoe.  The cordwainer always wondered what happened to his little friends.  He assumed that the smarter than average ferrets managed to find their way out of the shoe shop via a crack in one of the windows.

As for the cordwainer's fate, a fair princess saw the woman wearing the ferret boots and was so amazed that she hired the shoemaker as her private cobbler.  His family moved to the kingdom and as he was completely provided for by one client he was able to not only keep his family fed and happy, he was able to see them more often.

The end.

What to Wear: Casino Edition

Well, it's my last day in Vegas and before I run off to the pool I'll say goodbye to Vegas by taking some shoe inspiration from the brightly lit casino resorts here.

MGM Grand Hotel and Casino is one of the largest hotels in the world and was the home to the legendary Leo (you know Leo, he's the lion that roars in the MGM logo before movies).

If I had a gorgeous mane like Leo's I'd want to show it off.  But as mine is somewhat lacking in that wow factor, I'd make up for it with these YSL Mohawk Palais Suede Pumps.

Also topping the lists of largest hotels in the world is the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino.

It's all about the beach here so you'll need fabulous sandals, such as these Flama Runway Wrap Sandals from Diane von Furstenberg.

Next we must give to Caesar that which is Caesar's (and apparently every dollar I gambled is Caesar's).

Of course nothing befits a Roman casino better some Roman inspired flat sandals like these snake print ones from Giuseppe Zanotti.

Right next door to Caesar's Palace is the Bellagio.  With it's famed fountains and beautifully fragrant conservatory (and damn awesome shopping) you'll need shoes equal to the task.

I would recommend keeping in the Italian theme with these Violet Faille Color Block Ankle Strap Sandals from Fendi.

The colors match the beautiful sky behind the promotional photo for the Bellagio, si?

The next stop on our casino tour of countries is Paris.

These 3.5" nude pumps have that Parisian understated elegance with the glam of the red Louboutin sole.

If you want to get in touch with your inner Cleopatra you'll obviously choose to stay at the Luxor.

And nothing says Cleopatra like these Belle sandals by Sigerson Morrison.

Anthony will do a double take.

At Treasure Island you'll need to think like a pirate YAR!

You could go for the obvious fold over pirate boot, but why would you when you can wear these Suede Pirate Boots from Vivienne Westwood?

How many promotional items do you think read something along the lines of "In these Vivienne Westwood Pirate Boots you'll be prepared to walk the runway or the plank in style"?  Lots I'm sure.

Last on my personal tour of the strip is The Flamingo.

And because this is my blog we're gonna choose my favorite shoes from my closet.  That's right, my bright coral pink Camilla Skovgaard pumps!

Frankly, it doesn't get any better.

Well my dears, I have better things to do than blog and I believe there is an inner tube with my name on it!  So, I'm gonna grab my bathing suit cover up, my favorite pair of Tory Burch espadrilles (I told you, I hate thong sandals), and head down to the pool!

Where is your favorite place to stay in Vegas, and what shoes do you rock there?

The Winner and Still Champion

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Follow the Yellow Brick Road

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting the National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C. then chances are you’ve seen a pair of genuine Ruby Red Slippers from The Wizard of Oz. And if you’re anything like me, boy were you disappointed.

Originally the costume designer, Gilbert Adrian, created the pair with bugle beads. While the beads looked more like rubies they were simply too heavy. The beads were replaced with the sequins you see above. The red leather, jeweled bows were added after, the bows feature the original bugle beads that were to be used on the entire shoe as well as red glass jewels. The sequins were added to white silk shoes from the Innes Shoe Company which were dyed red.

Let’s get honest though. Those shoes leave MUCH to be desired, so today, I humbly offer some new ideas to MGM to outfit each character’s feet.

We start of course with the Ruby Red Slippers. Honestly, it’s hard to find decent red glittery shoes that don’t go along with rather adult looking Dorothy costumes (wth?). But I do think these Sully platforms from Enzo Angiolini fit the bill.

I love the sparkle and shimmer of these heels and were I the Wicked Witch of the West, I’d be pretty pissed if some narcissistic trollop stole them from my barely dead sister. I mean really, how gauche!

Speaking of the Wicked Witch of the West, I don’t really see her wearing something so glamourous as Ruby Red Slippers, no, she probably just didn’t want some stranger making off with her sister’s beloved shoes while her body is still warm. I am sure her Yellow Castle was covered in flying monkey poop and I’d imagine she wouldn’t want to get her sisters lovely shoes all shitty. I see her wearing these practical, yet fabulous, Libby Smith Boots from John Fluevog.

I still wouldn’t want to get monkey poop on them, but I’m sure it’s easier to remove said poop from these shoes than it would be from glittery sparkle shoes.

Glinda, the Good Witch, much like the late Wicked Witch of the East would probably also have sparkly shoes, but in a more virginal color. She was such a nosy do-gooder. Giving away shoes that didn’t belong to her because some girl with a fishy back story lands her house on a Witch terrorizing a race of people that has a guild for lollipops. Haven’t they heard of the food pyramid? They need more variety. Where’s the Kale Chip Guild?

Oh yes, Glinda would be utterly charming giving away shoes that don’t belong to her while wearing these Christian Louboutin Helmour 100mm pumps.

On her journey to Oz Dorothy meets the Scarecrow who decides to join her adventure in order to ask the great and powerful wizard to give him the gift of a brain. If he had a brain he would know that what he should REALLY ask for are these raffia pumps from Dolce & Gabbana.

All the chic Scarecrows are wearing D&G this season.

While on their way they meet the Tinman who desperately wants a heart. Personally I think the Tinman would be the best to dress, all metallic and industrial much like these Ruthie Davis Robot Platform Sandals.

Sexy, no? Though, if he had a heart, it’d be broken if these shoes don’t come in his size (mine would be too).

The last hanger-on they meet while traveling to Oz is the Cowardly Lion. He’d probably be terrified of these Prada Mohawk pumps, but too damn bad, I’m dressing him and he’ll wear these and like them.

RAWR! The mohawk looks so much like a lion’s mane does it not?

Oh, and what would The Wizard of Oz be without Dorothy’s little dog too?

We’re not in Kansas any more Toto. I wonder how many Toto’s it took to make these Prada Faux Fur Tall Boots? Wait, that’s Cruella deVille not the Wicked Witch of the West, wrong movie franchise.

So there we have it. Shoes I would happily visit in the Smithsonian.

It’s a Jungle Out There

Ever notice how fall is the perfect time to represent the animal kingdom on our feet?

Earlier this year we discussed how perfect Christian Louboutin’s Alex Paw Pump for any witch sorted into the House of Gryffindor.

But this certainly isn’t the only designer on the feline print trend.  Leopard and cheetah prints are almost always a popular choice.  Here we have a leopard print platform from Brian Atwood.

And these cheetah print wedge booties from Pour La Victoire.

But big cats aren’t the only animals in the kingdom.  I mean the cats have to eat something right?  Such as this zebra from Micheal by Michael Kors.

Or maybe the graceful gazelle from Marc by Marc Jacobs.

If the predator is feeling particularly fast and strong there are these gorgeous Fendi Giraffe Print Calf Hair Branded Slingbacks.

And while I know all these animals are African, I couldn’t resist adding in a bit of the Asian Tiger in the form of these Charlotte Olympia Two-Face Lace-Up Bootie.

So what animal will be gracing your feet this fall?

The House of the Rising Sun

You know, they say that even in an economic downturn the adult service industry (and I'm not talking home care to change your depends) still makes money.

Best quote in the article?

"[Sex] toys are like shoes: there are lots for men, tons for women, and a handful for both." ~Stefan Dallakian, owner, Paris Intimates

So, perhaps it makes sense that while the rest of the world scales back, design houses like Gianmarco Lorenzi sells what can only be described as $3,090.52 hooker shoes.

Luckily you can find them on sale for 50% off at farfetch.com.  At $1546.00 these babies are a STEAL!  However be sure to carry a spare pair of flats in your bag in case you have to chase down a dead beat John.

But if $1546.00 is still too expensive, Gianmarco Lorenzi does offer a slightly less expensive pair.

Regularly retailing for $2356.51 they are also 50% off at Farfetch for $1179.00.  It's like they're practically giving them away!

If you want to be a bit more obvious you can always go the Taylor Momsen route and get your shoes of ill-repute from Pleasers, a company dedicated to stripper shoes.

I do worry that the clear lucite platform showing my money would make me a target on the subway though.  They may only retail between $40.00 and $70.00 but who knows how much the would-be theives would get away with if you haven't stopped by your hollowed out mattress in awhile.

For that reason I'm partial to these lucite platforms from Fendi.  Retailing for $1400.00 you can find them on sale for $630.00 at Neiman Marcus.

And we all know that Christian Louboutin has never met a fetish shoe he didn't love and couldn't make fabulous.  These Lady Fox-Heel Platforms at $1395.00 are perfect if you get promoted from working the corner to a room in the brothel.

And my personal favorite pair, in fact, a pair that I would wear even though I'm not a hooker (I checked, they don't offer a decent vision plan) are these Casadei Fishnet Court Shoes.

The fishnet says naughty but the shoe shape says lady.  Regularly priced at $414.00 these too are on sale at farfetch for $189.00.

To afford all of these shoes I might have to start turning tricks.  Vision plan be damned; all I need is ONE Richard Gere.