Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I told you: no wire hangers EVER

So, call me crazy, but I sorta understand Joan Crawford.  You don’t put $300 dresses on wire hangers.  They do awful stretching-out things to the sleeves, AWFUL!  But also, who buys a 9 year old $300 dresses?  Joan fucking Crawford, that’s who.

If I could afford to buy a 9 year old $300 dresses I’d choose to makeover my own closet instead.  What?  Nine year olds grow like crazy, talk about a bad investment.

Forget the closet, I’d make over an entire room.  Yes, I’d have a dressing room.  And I’d walk into it wearing a full length silk robe, feather boudoir slippers, and my hair back in a turban.  I’d be feeling like Daisy Buchannan minus the whole hit-and-run thing.

My dream dressing room, in addition to having the Skybar Wine Serving System, should have either a beautifully upholstered chair or ottoman (putting on boots or shoes with a buckle currently involves a lot of hopping and leaning against walls before I finally give up and sit on the floor), a dress form just for fun, and framed vintage prints of my favorite Avedon photographs.

1951 Avedon Portrait of Barbara Mullen, sigh.

I would also want a vintage oval mirror and a built in center island with drawers for jewelry, belts, sunglasses, airline sized bottles of vodka, and all those other tchotchkes we all end up collecting and wondering “where can I put this?”

Look at these closets and let us collectively drool:

You can invite 2 friends over to have a boot-putting on party with all these chairs!

Yeah, I forgot to mention, but I'm gonna need skylights too.

Bit more masculine but my favorite of the three.  I'd totally kill the plant though.

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