Are You Smurfing Me, Sony?

Like most folks of my generation I was a huge Smurf fan growing up.  It was a fairly simple cartoon, an easy to understand plot, and really not a whole lot else.

I have to wonder though, who exactly is the target audience with the updated movie version?

Is this intended to appeal to my generation, the generation that grew up watching The Smurfs every Saturday morning?  Are the jokes intended to be more adult because we’ve aged?  Do we really need to crude up the Smurfs?  Is it necessary when my generation already has fond memories of the cartoon and a sense of nostalgia?  Seriously, my generation gets nostalgic over everything!  First it was I Love the 60s on VH1, then the 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, and then “Last Week Was Freaking AWESOME SAUCE.”  We are the generation of fake vintage t-shirts; my generation buys into nostalgia like Donald Trump buys into his own hype.

So maybe this movie is not meant to appeal to those of us who grew up with the Smurfs, maybe this is a children’s movie intended to appeal to younger audiences.

Why then must the Smurfs be set into contemporary society?  Does Sony think today’s children are incapable of watching a movie that doesn’t have all the modern trappings of text messaging, twitter, and hip hop music?  Must we update Smurfette as a modern, miniature, blue, Marilyn Monroe?  Would Neil Patrick Harris portraying Johan and Jayma Mays portraying Princess Savina instead of two random yipster (yuppie/hipster) New Yorkers seriously confuse this delicate generation that doesn't know a life without wifi?  Does Sony seriously think that little of the current generation of children and their ability to imagine a world outside their own?
 

The King, Peewit, Princess Savina, Johan and Dame Barbara

The Harry Potter franchise does just fine and I never see Ron tweeting “LOL, Malfoy fell off his broom” and Hermoine never texts Harry to remind him to finish his assignments for potions.  So, I refuse to believe it had to be updated to appeal to the younger audience.

I hope I’m wrong.  Maybe, like Enchanted before it, it will be refreshingly charming.  But I won’t hold my breath.  I will give credit where credit is due, Hank Azaria as Gargamel and Anton Yelchin as Clumsy Smurf  are superb casting choices.  (A disclaimer, I may have an inappropriate crush on the young Anton Yelchin.)

On the bright side, Smurfette rocked some pretty hot shoes in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar.

Here we have Smurfette wearing Lanvin:

 and in Dolce & Gabbana:

I mean seriously, you didn't think it'd be an entire post about Smurfs without a little something about shoes did you?

Multitasking baby.

Tiffany’s for Under $5.00?

A catalog from Tiffany arrived in my mailbox today.  What gal doesn’t love the iconic little blue box from Tiffany?

 

But in this recession it pays to be frugal.  So, it’s time to break out the tried and true China Glaze for Audrey.

It's almost as good.

Behold, the Power of Shoes

Unless, like Paul Simon, you are a rock, you are an island, you come into contact with people on a fairly regular basis.  And even Simon had Garfunkel for awhile.  Speaking of, I’m sure that song made Garfunkel feel just peachy about himself. “I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.” Oh Artie, you had to have known this breakup was eminent...  I had a point. 

Oh yes, no (wo)man is an island and for right or for wrong the way we dress may attract or repel attention.

I can’t be the only person that uses that to my advantage?

If you read my first blog entry you’ll notice that I’m fond of Camilla Skovgaard shoes.  I love them.  Some of her designs are way out there but some of the more simple pumps have just that slight touch of bad girl in them that appeal to me.  Every time I wear the bright pink coral saw pumps I get stopped.  Women want to talk about them.  And I love talking about shoes.

But I also realized I could use this to my advantage.

When I had to work at a bridal show I decide to dress like a peacock.  Well, figuratively mind you.  I pulled on the Camilla Skovgaards; I figured, if nothing else, I’d get people to my booth to ask about my shoes and once they were there and talking to me I’d steer the conversation straight to the product I was there to sell.  And it worked.

Yeah, you know you wanna approach the gal with the crazy shoes.

The best part of my day was when a well known baker came by our booth and told me in an appreciative tone, "You have serious balls for wearing those shoes all day."  Written down, it doesn't translate well, but trust me, tone matters!

Of course there is a corollary.  When I’m in a bad mood I try to dress so as NOT to garner attention.  I can’t recall why, but I remember a day getting progressively worse.  While in line at a Subway a perfectly nice woman complimented my outfit.  I responded in kind but not with my usual enthusiasm.  The minute I got home I changed into blue jeans and ancient doc martens oxfords with the comfort soles.  I simply wasn’t up for strangers that day and I wanted to blend in rather than stand out.

Bonsai does 90s angst like a champion.

Very seldom have I ever found myself wearing shoes for male attention.  And contrary to popular male belief an appreciation of shoes amongst women is NOT a competition (well maybe it is for some, we're not a monolithic group, I can't speak for us all).  It's just something pretty to enjoy; sometimes pleasures truly are simple with no ulterior motive.

That said, if you see that bitch walk by in the Navy Blue Patent Leather Campy Mary Janes, you knock her down, I'll steal her shoes and we both run.  We'll rendezvous at Starbucks.  No, not that one, the other one.  No, the one closer to my house.  There's one on that street?  No, the one near the book store.  You know what, I'll just see you later.  Don't get caught!

Oh navy blue Manolos, the things I would do for you (except, you know, spend $645)...

So what about you?  Are you a peacock that uses your clothing and accessories as a walking billboard?

They Fit, I Bought Them, Now What?

Well, how do you get to Carnegie Hall, Einstein?  That’s right!  Practice.

Oh that wasn’t all that helpful?  Well fine.  A couple of more practical pieces of advice.

First start with a sturdy heel that isn’t too high. 

How about these gorgeous 3.5" Turquoise Miu Miu Suede Pumps?

No one is going to be able to put on a pair of super skinny 4.5” stilettos and walk like a supermodel.  It just isn’t going to happen.

Now, are the soles of your shoes too slippery?  Get an emery board and go to town.  It’s what models do before they go down the catwalk.  Even then you may still slip a bit. 

I dunno if that’s what happened to Nina Porter at the 2010 London Fashion Week Burberry Prorsum show or if Annie Lennox belting out 17 Again just sorta knocked her over (it knocks me over sometimes when it comes up on my iPod when I’m out on a run, “Seventeeeeeeeen” and there’s Katie fallen into a hedge, and I’m wearing sneakers, so....).

Regardless, the 16 year old model demonstrates what you do when you fall, you show remarkable grace by getting back up, dusting yourself off and moving right along.

One more piece of practical advice.  Don’t wear 6” stiletto platforms on a high gloss Runway EVER.  Unless, of course, you’re being paid oodles of money or you get to keep the clothes.

Okay, let’s assume your soles are nicely scuffed but you’re still a bit unsure, well, let’s go back to practicing.  Find a bit of carpeting, it’s easier to walk on and if you fall there’s a bit more padding.  One foot in front of the other, heel to toe.  You’ll probably notice that your hips sway a little more than usual, hey, that’s okay, you are woman!  ROAR.   

Keep practicing.  No one is going to judge you for wearing heels in your pajamas and eating a Pop-Tart while you watch The McLaughlin Group.  I mean that’s just a normal Sunday morning, right?  Right?

All this practice should also help to “break in” your shoes.  Leather will never be super comfortable right off the bat.  It starts out a little stiff.  If it helps, when practicing, go ahead and wear socks.

If after all that your shoes are still a bit uncomfortable I recommend getting Foot Petals.  They are inserts for your shoes that add a bit of cushioning. 

I hate to say it, but seeing these like this, they sorta look like another feminine product I use...

Foot Petals also makes an insert called Heavenly Heels, these work well if your shoe is a little too roomy.  Even if you buy the right size sometimes shoes can stretch out a bit too much.  These will help your heel from sliding in and out of your shoes.

You don’t have to get the Foot Petals brand. Dr. Scholls also makes a high heel insert that Stacy London has been endorsing.  If you watch the amount of television I do (it’s tragic) then you’ve seen the commercials.

So there you go, much like when you took up clarinet in grade school, practice, practice, practice.  And practicing walking in heels, just like practicing the clarinet, will likely scare the family dog.

If The Shoe Fits, Buy It

In my blog post Observations != Compliments, I explained that the sour grapes exclamation of “How do you walk in those?” is not a compliment.  When asked sincerely it’s a fair question though, walking in heels isn’t necessarily a natural motion.

First thing of importance is fit and that's what we'll discuss today.

 

Happy Fourth of July!

Have a safe and happy holiday!

I'm breaking out my festive red, white, and blue Mia Venice pumps.

I love how instagram masks the smudges on my door and the dog hairs on my floors.

How are you celebrating?

Red, White, and Shoe: Jack Rogers

Happy Independence Day!  Today wraps up my four day tribute to American shoes in honor of the Fourth of July weekend.

If you live in the South like I do, you’ll notice that when the thermostat begins to make it’s treacherous trip upwards to the 90s every lady breaks out her Jack Rogers Navajo Sandals.

Since the Palm Beach shoe company first put it into production in the 1960s, the Navajo Sandals have been hand-made by cobblers in Florida.

The Original Palm Beach Navajo Sandal in Bone

I do not own a pair of these sandals.  Maybe I’m missing out, all I know is I hate the feeling of the thong between my toes.  I always end up bleeding and crying to anyone who will listen about how I hate flip flops and how the inventor of the thong sandal needs to burn in hell.  But I can admit that I am probably the exception to the rule because women all over the country seem drawn to the ease and comfort of the Navajo sandal.

I’m sure much of the love affair with Jack Rogers was influenced by Jackie Kennedy Onassis who was often seen sporting her Jacks while on vacation on the Cape.

Jackie wearing her Navajo Jacks

I suppose if I were a first lady and had to stuff my feet into boring, sensible shoes all day, every day, I too might like the opportunity that thong sandals provide to let my toes breath.

Luckily for folks like myself who are fussy picky, Jack Rogers does offer sandals that aren’t in the thong style.  The Capri Sandals give the wearer the look and feel of the Jack Rogers Navajo Sandals without the bleeding toes at the end of the day.

Capri Sandals

The line has expanded beyond just the traditional Navajo flat to include wedges and espadrilles.

Palm Beach Mid Wedge

Marbella Espadrille Wedge

So, there we have it, fabulous shoes from the good old U-S-A.  Who knew we Americans could be so chic?  (Um, I did!)

Red, White, and Shoe: Sperry Top-Siders

Welcome to day three of my four day tribute to American shoes in honor of the Fourth of July weekend.

Today we’re gonna get a little preppy, so if you need a second to go put on your madras print, grab a gin and tonic and your worn copy of The Official Preppy Handbook, pop your Lacoste collar, and tie your old Exeter Acadamy Lacrosse sweatshirt over your shoulders, well I can wait.

Ready?  Okay!

First, a confession.  I am not a prep.  Nope.  And frankly I am far too fussy picky of a dresser to ever hope to achieve the preppy look.  It’s just not me.  But Preppies?  They know some good shoes, and today we will discuss the ultimate in preppy shoes, the Sperry Top-Siders.

Now, Top-Siders aren’t just a deck shoe.  They are THE deck shoe.  In 1953 Paul Sperry designed the original Top-Sider, the very first deck shoe.  Prior to the deck shoe, when walking on your boat and things would inevitably get slippery, you would just deal with the risk of bruises and broken bones that came with it.

Montauk Slip-Ons in Cocoa

It was his cocker spaniel, Prince, that inspired Paul Sperry to design the deck shoe.  One winter day in Connecticut, Paul watched Prince easily run across the ice.  As an aside, I’m further convinced that my two dogs are dumber than a bag of bricks because on the few occasions we get ice in the south they manage to run right into the fence.  There is no grace involved.  ANYWAY, Paul cut herringbone patterned grooves into the bottom of rubber soles, much like the grooves and cracks on his dog’s paws, and so the deck shoe was born.

Bluefish 2-Eye Boat Shoe in Navy

After its introduction in 1935, the Top-Sider was hugely popular with boaters who not only appreciated the no-slip surface, but also the fact that the original white soles wouldn’t leave scuff marks on their boats (why hasn’t this caught on with high school gym teachers, it's beyond me).

In 1939 the U.S. Navy began manufacturing the Sperry Top-Sider for its sailors.  Sperry’s business was purchased by the U.S. Rubber Co. and the brand received even more recognition.

While the original Top-Siders were known for their leather upper and rubber no-slide bottoms, you can now buy canvas versions as well.

Women's Bahama Canvas Deck Shoes

Today, Top-Siders aren’t only popular amongst boaters, they make the perfect sneaker-alternative.  I always try to pack my Bluefish 2-Eye Boat Shoes when I go on vacation and I know there will be a lot of walking.  The one time I forgot and I relied on a darling pair of flats I had to stop at the Macy’s at Metro Center in DC just to get a pair of flip flops because I had rubbed the back of my heels so raw.  And I do not like flip flops (hurts my toes)!

And there’s more than boat shoes now!  If you don’t have the same flip flop aversion I have, you can get a great pair of flip flops in a nautical theme that would work perfect for the Fourth of July Weekend (see how I tied it back in)!

Jellyfish Thong in Navy and Red Stripe.  These could make me forget that I hate flip flops.

Sperry’s Top-Siders also has whimsical rain boots that could give Hunter a run for its money.

Pelican Tall Rain Boot

And if that weren’t enough, WEDGES PEOPLE!

Southport Wedge has my heart.

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of my four-part series tomorrow.  I face my flip flop aversion head on and we talk Jack Rogers (but we’re gonna call them sandals so I don’t have a panic attack).

Red, White, and Shoe: The Frye Company

It is day two of my American shoe tribute in honor of the Fourth of July weekend and today I celebrate the oldest continuously running shoe company in America, The Frye Company.  For 150 years Frye has bench crafted their boots, a process that takes more than 190 steps to complete a pair of boots.

I love Frye Boots.  Now, yes, it’s true, normally I am a heel girl, in fact I’d say a good six days a week I’m in heels but on that seventh day nothing feels better than pulling on a perfectly worn in pair of Frye 8R Engineer Boots.

Frye 8R Engineer Boots in Gaucho

They go perfect with a flouncy dress or jeans.  Whenever I put them on, I feel ready to get a tattoo and ride across the country on a chopper.  Okay, maybe not, but I feel like I fucking could if I wanted to and, dammit,  that is a great feeling.

John A. Frye ran the Frye company for 50 years from the very start in 1863 until his death in 1911 after which his family took over the business.  Frye boots have a long history, in the 1800s many of the homesteaders wore Fryes as they trekked west.

The Frye Harness Boot (then the Jet Boot) was inspired by a meeting John Frye’s grandson, also named John, had with a US Naval Admiral in 1938.  The Admiral had difficulty finding the Wellington style of boots he liked and as a favor John made him a pair.  The boots became popular and he filled requests for them through World War II.  General Patton even had a pair of the Jet Boots.

Frye Harness Boots

In the 1960s the Frye Campus Boot was re-introduced and became so popular and iconic that when the Smithsonian Institute was looking for items to represent America in the sixties a pair of Frye Campus Boots were among the chosen items.

Frye Campus Boots

These days Frye has expanded and offers so much more than boots.  Now you can buy Frye heels, sandals, and oxford flats.

Frye Kara Trapunto T-Strap Pump

Frye James Oxford

You will be just as likely to see young hollywood starlets wearing Fryes as you will be seeing rough and tumble cowboys, servicemen, and brawny guys who get dirt under their nails(tm).

Rachel Bilson in Frye 12R Engineers

Reese Witherspoon in Frye Melissa Button Boots

Anne Hathaway in Brown Frye Harness Boots

Who can choose one color?  Anne in Black Frye Harness Boots

Stay tuned, tomorrow we talk about a passion for the sea, Sperry Top-Siders so break out your madras prints!

Red, White, and Shoe: Delman

In honor of the Fourth of July weekend it’s time to take a closer look at iconic American shoe companies.

“Delman means a shoe stylized in sophisticated taste--not garish, not over-conservative--a thouroughly wearable shoe.”~Herman Delman

Herman Delman founded the Delman company in 1919 and incorporated in 1925.  At this time most shoes were branded by the store they were sold in regardless of the company that manufactured them.  Delman was one of the first shoes to brand his own shoes with his name.

Delman Sangria Sandals with the Delman logo showing.

From 1926 to 1933 Delman had his own store at 558 Madison Avenue in New York.  In 1933 Delman entered into an exclusive contract with Saks Fifth Avenue and closed his store on Madison Avenue.  The exclusivity lasted 3 years after which Bergdorf Goodman began carrying the shoes.

In 1940 Delman recreated a tango shoe he had originally made 20 years prior for ballroom dancer, Irene Castle.

Irene Castle in Picture Play magazine

Called the Scandal Sandal, the provocative shoe made quite an impression; it revealed the entire foot and laced up the back.

In 1953, under Roger Vivier, the Delman-Dior line was launched with French fashion house Christian Dior.

The Seven Year Itch premiered in 1955 and Marilyn Monroe famously stood atop a subway grate in the movie.  The shoes?  Delmans.  But really, who noticed the shoes anyway?

What shoes?

 
Other celebrities known for supporting the brand include: Marlene Dietrich, Ava Gardner, Audrey Hepburn, and Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

Several well known designers cut their teeth at Delman, including:  Herbert and Beth Levine, Kenneth Jay Lane, and Roger Vivier.

Classic Delman Mona Flats, a favorite of Jackie O.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Red, White, and Shoe: Frye Shoe Company...