Excuse me ma'am, your legs are moulting.

Some people see a Lesser Goldfinch in mid-moult and think,

http://www.bigcountryaudubon.org/

"OH MY GOD YOU UGLY BARELY-EVOLVED DINOSAUR GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Not Brian Atwood.  He sees a bird in mid-moult and thinks, "shoes."

To-may-to, to-mah-to, I say.

True story, once a bird flew into my old apartment and proceeded to poop on my Ikea POANG chair; I'm still a bit bitter towards birds.

Picked the Wrong Day to Quit Sniffing Glue

Am I hallucinating these Boxer Leather Cut Out Sandals from Rick Owens?

Oddly, this is exactly what I see when I stare into the sun too long.

Multi-Function Shoe

Have you ever been in a public restroom and noticed that your stall was out of toilet paper AFTER it's too late to switch stalls?  Have you ever thought to yourself, "Self, if only you had worn those heels with the superfluous amount of material instead of mocking them then you'd have something to use as make shift toilet paper"?

No?  ...yeah, me neither.  But in case you ever do, Rick Owens has you covered.

Don't worry if you're not keen on the color.  There is a simple, classic version in black.

Much more subtle, no?

Remember next time they call for a big storm, milk, bread, Rick Owens.

Look, I Realize It's Hot...

...but there's no excuse for this travesty.

Because a strap across the top would just push you over the edge and into heat stroke territory?

I'd sooner use pantyliners, just slap the sticky side on the soles of your feet.

I call the trademark on "cool feet, period."

Chanel Needs to Pay the Power Bill...

...then Karl wouldn't have to design clothes by flashlight shoe.  Obviously that's how this happened right?

Flashlight shoes at Chanel's 2011 Fall Couture Show.